It's About Time! / How do I get done what I need to and say “no” to people so I can do my stuff?

Good question. Here are 7 Tips for doing what YOU want to do:

  1. Pause and briefly analyze what is really being asked of you. Make sure you fully understand the magnitude of the job before you blurt out “yes.” Realize you always have a choice.
  2. You don’t have to do everything alone. Relieve most of the pressure you put on yourself by eliminating the need to “run” things to be sure they turn out the way you like them. Maybe some things won’t turn out as well as if you did them yourself, but they will be done, and you won’t be the one stressing about them.
  3. Be very specific about the amount of time you have to devote to the task. When you say “yes” continually to others, you say “no” to yourself and relegate yourself to second position, third, or even last.
  4. Don’t be wishy-washy about decisions that involve changes to expected rituals. Bowing out and breaking a long-standing tradition will force someone else to take over. If not, then so be it…you’re no longer responsible.
  5. How to say “no” without really saying it.
    1. “I can take care of that, but what I’m doing now, will be delayed. Is your request more important?”
    2. “I’ll be glad to handle that for you. However, I can’t get to it until I finish what I’m doing. That will be . . .”
    3. I’m sorry, I don’t have time to take on any new work. I’ll call you when my schedule frees up.”
    4. “l appreciate your vote of confidence, but just can’t t work it into my schedule at this time. Sorry.”
    5. “I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. Have you considered asking . . . “
    6. Remember, while you’re feeling guilty about saying “no,” people are busy finding someone else to do the job.
  6. Affirmations help you stick to your decisions.
    1. If you repeat something like “I will not give in, I will not give in,” to remind yourself that you deserve to be in control of your time. The most serious repercussion when people take advantage of you, is the irritation you feel with yourself for making yourself available to others 24/7.
  7. Most importantly, you can say “no” and still remain a caring individual.And, if people can’t accept “no,” do you really want them in your life? Remind yourself daily that “no” is liberating, and to say it is your right.